the pain that makes me whole { OPEN

[Lunar ☮asis]

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It's been too quiet for too long. Hell seems to devour more than just your soul when you come into it's gates. But your sanity also? As far as Memphis could tell, she hadn't heard or seen from her pack mates in quite some time. She was growing impatient. There was a silence filling the area she just couldn't make out. Her large bat like ears rotated to listen for any sound. Rather she heard nothing but her own heart beat. It was rather reassuring to know she could still hear it.

Sometimes she forgot.

Forgot how precious. something as little as the wolf heart was.. She certainly didn't see that light in her first years of life. And now she was around 7 years old in counting, however being reborn into hell had let her appear primly around 4. But she didn't feel like she was 4. Rather she felt younger. She felt renewed, in a sense, like a newborn. Focusing she could hear a blaze. A blaze that was beating like a heart, it was calling to her.

Pale brown eyes rotated to the direction in which her ears tilted. The particular blaze was demanding her attention now. Or was it this insanity? How long had she been down here, she thought? How long since she had visited the mainlands. She had really seen Kayne? Kayne was somewhere out there, possibly, waiting for her. He was in hell, why? Her mind hindered as she tried to recall a memory of her brother, but it felt like it was faded.

No. Her throat gripped and felt dry. Images of Kirill, her pack and Arden filtered through her head, but they were fading. Like these mental images were catching on fire without her realizing. Disappearing. Wolven eyebrows stretched as her heart beat increased. She couldn't lose her memories? Was Hell causing this? Was being reborn equal to a new past that must be rebuilt? She wouldn't stand for it.

She couldn't.

Panic filtered her veins and suddenly only one thing mattered. This blaze that was calling her attention. She rolled her head on the back of her neck. The tender pain of scars tingled from her past life. But they didn't burn like usual... With a twitch of frustration, she was off in the blink of an eye. Long silken legs, decorated with scars, dashed through dense dry forest.

Everything seemed so unique. Even as she ran past, running faster than she felt she had ever ran before. Leaping over a old fallen tree, her eyes focused on the smallest of blossoms. The small white flower was blooming despite the lack of water and proper sunshine. The smallest cloud of ash escaped as the flower opened within the millisecond that Memphis was able to witness. However her eyes were refocused on her footing, her light black paws caressing the dry hell grounds as she was emerged into a even thicker- dry forest.

Squinting as she pushed past the dense dry vegetation, mostly branches. Raking and scraping her pelt as she squeezed through. Bursting through with effort, she was faced with the raging pit of fire. Like a tornado as it raised and lowered with satisfaction to her arrival. Her brown eyes were vivid with it's light and instinctively shut them. Only to feel a single tear travel down her scarred face. All of her scars burned with pain and she smiled of sweet relief as the overwhelming feeling of love and remembrance filled her head with the memories of her past family. That was what she was looking for.

OOC; okay, this post was soooo rusty and all, but I had some feels to get out through her. I guess this fire will mean a lot more to her later on? O;

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[atrb=background,http://i1230.photobucket.com/albums/ee500/lukari/2-32.png] The Ravaging Fire, the Eternal Flame, it all meant the same thing; The content consumed. It never stopped feeding, however, what if fed from was immortal, so it never moved. It was much like a maze; The fire licked the atmosphere, greedily, and it only stretched up. It only reached toward the ebony sky. IT never went wide, never went long. Only skyward. Towards the heavens that would never be in their reach. The hellions didn't mind for the most part, they loved the idea of hell; It meant anarchy, and that was what they absoloutly lived for. The Ravaging Fire was just a small part of the best of hell. It's warmth was felt from miles away, and it could be seen from just as far. It shone in her eyes, her orbs reflecting the orange hues. Her purple eyes clashed well with the reds, those unnatural eyes of hers absorbing the light. It fueled her, this fire fueling her own. Long, lanky legs carried the cheetah gracefully, however, she looked far from fragile. Many often underestimated her, and that was a downfall. They all saw her and thought, 'what a weak lil pussy.' The pun was quite funny, however, the thought often killed them. Nemesis made sure of that; Her and her brother were really into the whole merciless, mindless killing. But since their buisness started, they haven't been at it much. Though it would never leave their lives; It was literally all they were made of. Every particle insisted of their cruelty. Nemesis strode towards the flame, her tail twitching from side to side. Soon enough, she was engulfed by the perimeter of the flames, the warmth something unearthly. Nemesis was suddenly aware of every lick the flame performed, of every crackle sound it make. She was also very aware she was not alone- Or was not to be alone for long. Still, though, she wandered. The scent told her what it was; Wolf. What disgusting, hideous creatures they were. Though her brother was not around, Nemesis smirked crazily. Her eyes narrowed, and her teeth bared slightly in that small smile. Aidou, she whispered, her voice seductive and wild.

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[Lunar ☮asis]

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That feeling you get that makes your whole body shudder once you've pulled yourself together. That feeling that the ground was crumpling beneath your very feet, but you pulled yourself up just before the fall. That feeling of security and regaining of yourself. Like a self harm release, the darkness lead Memphis to this point. But there is always a light, this is what keeps one from shrouding into insanity. But all couldn't be the same for some could it? Some found pleasure in this darkness and insanity. Something inexplicable even to Memphis who trended a long a dangerous line of light and dark.

Memphis let herself fall from grace many times, but not like this before. This downfall was rather terrifying to her. Something she hadn't felt in a very long time. She had snapped into a demon when just her brother died. But she had let the demons infect her while thinking she had lost everyone. She felt like she should deserve a medal... Alas she won this battle, looking toward the fire. It's crackling warmth sending a comforting sensation to her front. Yet beyond the crackling sounds, around the waves of yellow and red, was something that sent her blood prickling with distaste.

Casually glancing at the burnt dry ground, making her way around the fire, Memphis found a familiar lengthy cheetah. Fur tainted yellow and eyes golden to match what the cheetah thought of herself and her brother. "Thanatos..." Memphis tried to ignore the fact that she had been a absolute mess of herself only moments ago, glad to have claimed what was left in her, dignity. "Oh Lilitu, you better be proud of me. She thought positively as she pondered if she was planning to jump into the fire during her black rage of depression that just consumed her. Hopefully never again.

Clearing her throat silently, Memphis kept her head at a steady level. Showing no sign of harm or possible conflict. 'Twas not the time or her desire, keeping good levels with them would be for the best. "Just how is my slave-spring these days?" Her voice echoed with a bit of evil gesture, trying to fit the Thanatos taste perhaps? Who was she to please them anyways? Brown eyes blinked as she straightened a bit and beckoned to take their conversation not so close to the fire. "Has she healed to her senses yet?" Memphis asked, showing her true intentions of slight concern.

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[atrb=background,http://i1230.photobucket.com/albums/ee500/lukari/2-32.png] Memphis spoke her name, the name they all knew Nemesis by; Thanatos- death, translated. Either way, Nemesis encouraged everyone to say her name, not by anything else. It would build in their memories and they would remember that, they would never forget the name of their goddess, their god, their murderer or their merciful lords. It all depended on the situation, really. It really did, whether anyone accepted it or not. Memphis inquired about her past slave, Southwind. She had a sadistic tone to her voice that amused Nemesis greatly; Was this who she was or simply an act? It was irrelevant either way. No matter what Nemesis would only have one impression of the wolf; Her breed was more attractive to that of other of her kind, but still was mitigate to the Thanatos. Still, would never be equal in the purple eyes of the cheetah. She was a predator at the top of the food chain! Ah, Southwind, the little bitch. She's not really worth much right now, though as time goes on my brother and I will find tasks to make her somewha useful, Nemesis shrugged. She was such an ungrateful bastard, though it only made her better. However, I thank you still for the trade. Nemesis added, her tone somewhat snobby. Her hubris was all she was, all that made her. Pride was her hamartia. Nemesis's tail rolled around, showing she was comfterable but aware. She couldn't say she didn't trust the wolf before her... But she didn't trust the surprised Hell liked to offer. She didn't despise it, however it had two sides. It worked for or against her; So she coudln't say her dislike for the surprises ran too deep. Her senses will be tainted for some time, I imagine. She's strong though, I will admit. How did you come across something such as her? Nemesis asked, her voice cocky. She had a way with chaos, they were one. It was her strongest ally. It worked in her mind, had one of it's own inside her demonic head. She always insulted, she always assumed, and always let the chaotic morals strip her of any good. It was, to say in short, a 'Thanatos thing.'

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[Lunar ☮asis]

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Despite how she would normally have acted, Memphis physically allowed herself to relax a bit in front of the cheetah. The two had no reason to bicker or possibly be tense around one another. Memphis knew very well that the Thanatos only favored themselves, so she hadn't a clue what one could think of her, even as an individual. Of course she had a rather pure hatred for the general panther race herself. Simply because Lilitu and her were possibly over whelmed by a large population of said creatures.

Nemesis spoke of Southwind, about how her and Graverobber would come with their own plans for her later on. Memphis wondered if the feeling she had inside of her was guilt. Truth be told she let these emotions show within her ever since Traum, but feeling this low guarded side of her was still new and hadn't been explored since Traum, other than perhaps Lilitu. Memphis pictured herself when she was blinded by her own ego before the age of perhaps two, when she acted much like Nemesis and Graverobber. Downing all those around her, it must be a nice life to simply feel and think that way at all times.

"Her senses will be tainted for some time, I imagine. She's strong though, I will admit. How did you come across something such as her?"

Black ears twisted, letting the blaze of the fire warm her side. "Simply wandering the Colosseum, when I found her, you see. She was limping through a puddle of her own blood, 'Twas a surprise there was any left swimming in her veins." The memory of finding Southwind was confusing for Memphis. The obnoxious scent of blood was something she hadn't wanted to waft, considering it could cause a slight blood lust in any darkened soul.

Memphis let a smile stretch across her features. Lines adding to a mature and well looking face, she was growing older for sure. Wisdom and experiences painted her face with the weathering of age. But scars and patches of fur were missing as results of the battles she had wandered into. Yet despite the scars, darkened eyes and dried pelt - Memphis held herself well, still looking exotic and highly confident. "Rumor has it, there is new Thanatos blood to be roaming these ruins?" Memphis lifted a wolfen brow to show her interest in said topic.

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